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English Journal # 3

New Yorker

The Poem that Can’t Be Written

by Lawrence Raab April 6, 2009

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Keywords

is different from the poem;

Writers;

Writing;

Poetry, Poets;

Meaning;

Failure;

Sailboats

is different from the poem

that is not written, or the many

that are never finished—those boats

lost in the fog, adrift

in the windless latitudes,

the charts useless, the water gone.

In the poem that cannot

be written there is no danger,

no ponderous cargo of meaning,

no meaning at all. And this

is its splendor, this is how

it becomes an emblem,

not of failure or loss,

but of the impossible.

So the wind rises. The tattered sails

billow, and the air grows sweeter.

A green island appears.

Everyone is saved.

In my opinion, this poem is very interesting.

The idea of the poem is the unfulfilled and this leads to non existence. If a poem is not finished it is not a poem, and if a boat gets lost it no longer fulfills its function. The poet uses different l features to reinforce this such as the sentence and stanza structure diction, and different literary features. Throughout the poem, there is a simultaneous comparison between a boat lost without any direction, and poem that Is neither written nor finished. Both are waiting for something to move them, to complete them. 

The poem initiates with the word “is”. This leaves the reader hidden from what the entire poem is referring to. This contributes to the theme because it not only begins the poem with something unfinished, but It also makes the content of the poem vague. Therefore the poem refers to something abstract, or what could relate to the technically nonexistent. It creates an incommodity in the reader, whom strives to reach a conclusion much in the same way “a green island appears” and “everybody is saved”.  The reader does not understand what to do; in the same way those lost on the sailboat don’t know what to do.  The poem mentions the “windless latitudes” and the “ charts, useless”. Here there are two essentialities for a boat to function, both are which are not working. They need the wind, the extra push to finish the boat’s course.

The poem begins with something unfinished and only until the end is their some form of conclusion.   It speaks about how if there is nothing than there is no meaning, and this is easier than for something to have meaning. This thought relates to the examples of the poetry and the boat, where without their function they really are useless.  The use of enjambment can be seen as a way to further stress upon the idea of something unfinished. The sentences are extended across the poem, and the ideas are not concluded. There are sentences where the sentence is never concluded by a period, and there are sentences in which the idea is not concluded because the period halts it.

These techniques are able to reinforce the idea and allow the reader to feel the ambiguity of the poem. Through this trail of unfinished thoughts, the message can be deciphered.  Finally, the title itself reflects all of this. It is a poem that cannot be written, because it needs the extra “wind” for it to flourish.

English Journal # 3

Biographical short story

-“ 8:30 time to go to bed kids!”

Little did I know that on that day, at that exact time my brothers and I would begin the game that would last over a decade.  I recall I was about seven years old, my older brother nine and my younger sister five.  We were bunch a kids, who like most others, dreaded their bedtime.  At that time I still slept  with my sister and when we were alone we  would duck under our covers and imagine we were in  the most bizarre places. Whether we were mermaids, or visiting our relatives in Costa Rica or Ecuador, we were always avoiding that moment where we would have to close our eyes and wait a whole night’s sleep to wake up again.

On that particular day, my mother was out of town. In our household it was a tradition to sleep together with the parent that remained, in this case our father. We would all take turns to sleep, in what then, seemed to be the “ginormous” bed. What my father tended to underestimate was the power of extremely hyperactive children together. Every time my mother left, My siblings and would wait till my father left  and then begin playing all different types of games until we would fall asleep.  Those occasions were the only ones I have memories of actually wanting to go to bed. I felt that we would never have to sleep again.

         -“SH, gees Xavi, anyone with ears can hear you” whispered the little girl in the Doctor euss pajama.

        - “Shut up Cristina, what do you know, you’re a little girl.” Replied her older brother.

        -“Oh yeah, I bet you can’t do this.”

       – (THUMP)(Clash)

        -“Ouch!”

       - “Great Job Tonta, now he is going to come for sure”  yelled the eldest sister.

- “Stop! What are we going to play today?”

-          “I don’t know, you guys are being mean, I don’t want to play anymore.”

-          “Fine, then we won’t play anything!”

-          “Aw! Come on guys!”

I remember that night as if it were yesterday. I was actually pretending to be asleep because I had just drunk a juicy juice and that sugar really had me going. My brother continued to persuade us into playing, but I kept strong. I was angry that my sister had ruined the night. While I laid in my bed thinking about all the games we could of played my brother began to approach me. At first he crawled into a ball at the end of my bed.  I started laughing, but tried really hard to keep it in. Slowly he got closer until he was right next to me. All of a sudden he jumped on top of me, and when I started yelling I realized he was playing a game. He began to growl and speak like a dog, claiming I was his owner. He was begging me, as a dog, to play with him so I began. It did not take long before my sister began playing, claiming herself to be a cat named Beauty. The dog my brother pretended to be eventually took the name of “Robo”, though I honestly do not remember exactly how this came to be.

-          “Hello my name is Robo, are you the owner that found me lying in Alaska?”

-          “I guess I am, do you want to play?”

-          “Can I play too?!”

-          “Shut up Beauty, cats suck!”

-          “No they don’t, right owner, right that they don’t?”

-          “Robo! Do not say that, cats are beautiful”

-          “Is it because you like cats more?”

-          “No I never said that.”

-          “Let’s tackle, I bet dogs can beat cats!”

-“Kids! It is 9:30 what are you doing awake?” “Go to your rooms now!”

That night was the first night we had ever been caught. It is pondering the amount of detail I can remember, but that game would eventually become part of my life.  I slept happily waiting to play the next day.  Over the years new characters began to appear. Of course, my brother and sister interpreted them all. At times it seemed as if my siblings were crazy. They would talk to themselves and change voices constantly. Each character was completely out of the ordinary. Amongst the many,  my brother played a black bear who thought he was a dog, a puppy named Benny Arnold who supposedly was in my womb, and a pit-bull named “Bone Crusher”. We even included my own dog, whose voice my brother did as well.  My sister on the other hand played the cat as well as two different dogs, one named “mini robo” who was a nerd from Michigan, and the other named “snuggles” who had to snuggle or else he would die.  I was always the owner, from day one, having to deal with the nuisance of having what came to be over twenty dogs.

I mentioned earlier that this game became part of my life. This is because since then, rarely does a day go by where we don’t play it.  My cousins and friends know about it and it has become a joke about our family. They call us the teenagers that never grew up.  As crazy as it may sound, part of me will always be the owner of imaginary animals.  It has become something very special; a link that overtime has kept my relationship with my siblings strong.  To think that all of this came from the imagination of three little kids who simply did not want to close their eyes.

English Journal # 1

-Structure

In our last journal entries I included a journal which worked on making past essays more precise and concise. In this journal entry I will focus on the structure of the essay, mostly on the topic sentences and their relation with the thesis. I will use my past paper 2 as an example because the problem was most evident in this essay.  I am sure that you will remember this essay as the VERY  long paper 2 you had to grade, and give me a terrible grade!=)

Thesis:

 In the novels Blindness, by Jose Saramago, and Age of Iron, by J.M Coetzee, the writing style of the authors greatly influences the overall themes and ideas of each novel. In these cases, neither the plot nor the style “should be valued more highly “, since they equally complement each other.

Topic Sentences:

1. Both novels portray sequence of events including the rise of conflict, the climax, and finally the conclusion.

This sentence has no relation to the thesis, nor does it answer the question being asked.  It describes what the plot consists of. The plot and the way the author uses the plot does relate to the thesis. However, this aspect must be mentioned in the topic sentence instead of an aspect of the plot for the sentence to actually work. Having this in mind, the paragraph is still difficult to fix because the entire paragraph serves only to introduce the following paragraphs which are divided into rise of conflict, climax, and conclusion.    There are no supports within the paragraph; in reality the paragraph is redundant and useless.  Instead of correcting the sentence, I would actually eliminate the paragraph and further develop the sentences of the following paragraphs.

2. An ongoing theme in Blindness is human degradation or retrogression

This topic sentence does not relate to the thesis again. It only states an aspect of the book. I probably would change it to:  In Blindness,   the rise of conflict is a part of the plot which greatly contributes to the overall novel. This or something similar would at least directly address the question, since it is stating how a part of the plot is of value to the novel.

3. The rise of conflict is the most extensive part of the plot because most of the events that show degradation are there.

This topic sentence is completely irrelevant. This is because the paragraph is actually about the climax. It simply mentions this in order to  counterattack it by then stating  that the climax is even more important. Even if the paragraph where to be about the rise in conflict, it still would not work, since it stands on its own. There is no relation to the thesis, it is only stating that the rise of conflict is extensive. It is making a statement, not an argument.  I would change it to: In Blindness, what occurs in the climax is very influential to the overall theme of degradation that is seen all throughout the novel. Or: The climax in Blindness allows the  development of the themes of the novel, and thus contributes greatly.

In this way , the sentence would be reflecting the thesis.

4. Following the climax, a series of events emphasize the catastrophic situation.

This topic sentence neither mentions what the paragraph will mention, nor does it support the thesis. My problem was not so much the content of the paragraphs that did not have relevance, because although the topic sentences were random, eventually the point would be made in the middle of the paragraph. However, this disorder made my essay a total mess. Therefore I would change the sentence to: The conclusion of the novel emphasizes the catastrophic situation and therefore reinforces the plot and its importance to the novel.

5. In Age of Iron, the plot consists of a range of internal and external issues that portray themes such as aging and ignorance.

This sentence properly mentions a quality of the book however it fails to relate back to the thesis. It seems to be referring to a question about how authors use different issues to develop the themes throughout the novels. This is not the question, it is completely different.  I would change it to:  In Age of Iron, like Blindness, the rise of conflict is very valuable since it presents a range of internal and external issues that contribute to the effect of the novel.

This new sentence reflects how the rise of conflict is important since the events allow the creation of a complex plot. In this way the confusion and overall effect of the novel is reinforced.

6. Mrs. Curren has always lived in South Africa, where apartheid is present.

This topic sentence basically is explaining the novel. I understand that one must avoid all telling of stories, and instead focus on analyzing it.  This sentence should be:

The climax of Age of Iron contributes to the novel because it exposes the key issue of Mrs. Curren’s ignorance, causing her to further philosophize about her life.

7. Although the plot consists of the ideas being presented, the narrative style contributes and emphasizes the points being made.

This sentence is actually much more relevant to the theme than the others have been. It mentions how narrative style is also important to the novel because it emphasizes the points being made by the plot. I would maybe slightly change it to: Although the plot consists of the ideas being developed, the narrative style is valuable since it contributes to the points being made. 

8. In Blindness, Saramago uses different writing techniques to emphasize the feeling of desperation and chaos.

This sentence does not relate to thesis directly. I would change it to: In Blindness, Saramago uses different writing techniques such as diction to contribute to the overall development of the themes.

In this way, the sentence reflects the thesis and provides an insight of what the paragraph will  be a about.

9. Saramago uses third person omniscient narrator throughout the novel, to give a deeper input to the lives of the characters.

Saramago uses a third person omniscient narrator to expose the thoughts off all the characters and this facilitates the development of the themes of the novel.

10. One very unique characteristic of Blindness is its use of syntax. 

This sentence although true is a statement instead of an argument. It does represent what will be spoken about in the paragraph however it does not explain why it is relevant.

Saramago uses a different form of syntax in order to contribute to the overall effect of the themes and ideas of the novel.

This sentence explains the argument, and properly presents the value of the narrative technique of syntax.

11. Age of Iron is an epistolary novel.

Once again, this is a statement not an argument. The paragraph explains how the fact that the novel is an epistolary novel is indeed valuable and influential . Nowhere does it explain why the novel is an epistolary novel.

Therefore I would change it to:  The fact that Age of Iron is an epistolary novel is very important since it influences the way in which Coetzee develops the themes.

This new sentence explains its relation to the thesis and it explains the reason for its importance. Although it is long, it at least gives a hint aobut the actual argument.

12. Since the novel consists of letters, the narrator is first person.

This is the wonderful grand finally. It makes no sense even within itself. 

In Age of Iron the narrator is first person, and thus this allows Coetzee to develop the ideas successfully with a more personal approach.

I would like to clarify that this practice was only to improve the structure, not the content, nor grammar. My purpose was to make sure that the sentences related to the thesis. I feel that I improved slightly in the recent paper 2.  Hopefully!

TOK Journal # 5

 “Baby Shaking Appliance”

Opinion:

When I first read the article, I was shocked and I honestly still am. Has our society degraded to the extent that seeing a baby die could be used as entertainment? This portrays lack of ethics and a group of messed up people. Video games about war is understandable, but about a baby suffering simply gives me a weird feeling. However, it is possible that when war video games first appeared, the same weird feeling was felt then. Humans adapt and get used to things, though I do not think I would ever get used to something like that.

On the other hand, I understand your point of freedom of expression. Relating to an S.A.T text, everything cannot be censured and controlled because monotony would occur. Everything would be controlled by anyone who feels insulted.

In my opinion, however, the point of expression is weaker than the belief that it is just plain weird. I know this may sound closed-minded, but it seems terribly wrong. My emotional barriers are influencing my opinion of course, but a person who is able to create such a game, has little or very different ethics than those which I have. However, if ethics are not valued, then the game is perfectly fine.

I stand strong against this type of entertainment. It exploits pain, and promotes violence, through its acceptance as normal.

TOK Journal # 4

Bad words = Taboos

 Society has managed to taboo every single taboo in society. What does this mean?

It means that in society there are a group of words, nothing more than words, that are looked down upon by society. Basically they are tabood words, that are used and instantly have negative connotations. This tabooed words nearly always represent things that are already tabooed by society. So in other words, society came up with words that represented taboos. Those words later became taboos themselves. These words: (excuse the bad words)à example of tabooing…

Shit= feces

Piss= urine

Crap= feces

Fuck= reproduction

Dick = reproduction organ

Hoar= prostitution.

From the following words, the following taboos:

Defecation

&

Sexual reproduction

All bad words in one way or another relate to one of these two topics, or something similar.  The world conceals certain things, and dislikes discussing about them. They are seen as “private” although it is something that all humans do, in reality “private” means “let’s not talk about it because it is really uncomfortable”.  These aspects of society are disliked to the extent that the words representing them are used in negative contexts. Such as:

“Oh shit I did not do my homework”= “O feces, I did not do my homework”

“Fuck, I slammed the door on my hand!”=  Sexual reproduction, I slammed the door on my hand!”

“You are such a dick, how could you?” = “You are such a reproduction organ, how could you? “

The actual meanings of the words do not fit the context, they make no sense whatsoever. This is because the words represent more a negative feeling than the actual meaning. This happens because society uses things they dislike acknowledging as a useful tool for confrontation or for expression of negativity. By this I mean that the words have a greater impact because they represent distasteful things. When pain or anger is felt, and one wants to express this feeling to the greatest extent, what could be easier than to shock everybody with a taboo? Of course, when the person uses a bad word, they are not thinking about the specific taboo anymore, only the negative impact remains.  This aspect also goes into the use of language. It can encompass an idea and evolve over time into something else. The words do not vary, though the meanings and functions do.

What is bewildering to me, is the fact that the words refer to aspects that are common to ALL humans, therefore it would be most likely that they’d be aspects of every day conversation.  Still, though they are not directly part of conversation, they are indirectly present through bad words.

TOK Journal # 3

Porn Star in the Senate?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/30643482#30643482

            Recently, the infamous porn star, Stormy Daniels, has decided to run for the candidacy for the senate representatives for her state, Louisiana.

Questions about her moral judgment have been raised, concerning the impact she would have as a government official.

As was discussed in T.O.K, a leader in politics makes decisions for the public, taking in mind the public’s needs. Therefore the ethics and identity of the person is very important, because this reflects the bases for which the official will make or prioritize  the decisions.  In my opinion, the way a person acts out in real life, and the choices and paths the person takes reflects who the person is and how he or she deals with different situations.

Having this in mind, how can a person who supposedly represents the nation, be part of something so strongly looked down upon by society. Is it possible for a marginalized and judged member of the world to take an opposite strategy and try to conform with society standards? Also, in the video, she mentions that many fans sought her aid. However, this can either be seen as positive or as negative. The fans she has, are those who depend on porn, and the advice from these people is not necessarily one to trust. 

However, viewing this situation from another perspective, one can say that society must not be closed mined. It is possible that she has changed for the better in the eyes of the standard opinion. IN this case, the will power she had to change, demonstrates positive aspects, and would contribute to the senate. In addition, society is conformed of all types of sectors; the ones who conform, and the ones who are ostracized. The ones who conform tend to support a code that ostracizes the rest of the sectors, leaving them to be the more popular and acknowledged behavioral type. However, although they are dominant, this does not mean that the rest of the society must go unrepresented. If governmental officials represent the country, they might as well represent all sectors. In this case, Daniels, would be an adequate candidate.

Understanding both perspectives, how can one decide whether she is adequate candidate? It really all depends. Because if she wins and she represents her sector of society adequately then the dominant sector would be unsatisfied, but for those fans of hers, let’s not forget they count, she would be a good addition. Also we do not yet know whether she will reflect her behavior in her policies. She might of changed. This situation is difficult, because society encourages people to change in a positive manner, however at the same time it is limiting the possibilities those people  may have.

One can claim that many good people have done terrible things in the government, what if she, a person considered “bad”, makes a good difference in the government?  It is all really relative.

I honestly believe that although society represents different sectors, the dominant sector is only dominant because it is the one that is looked up to. Therefore I would prefer to have a leader that is an idol, not a leader who chose pornography as a way to make a living. In addition she claims she wishes to diminish the accessibility younger children have in watching porn. Though, lets not forget, she contributed to the very thing she wishes to hide from children. This hypocritical behavior portrays laps in character. I understand that all people deserve the right to change and to not be judged. However, in politics personal identity and views, unfortunately for her, play a big role.   I would honestly have to study her life more, in order to understand the reason for her choice for pornography, before deciding whether she is a proper candidate. I am not closing myself from the possibility, because close mindedness is never a good characteristic in a job that requires creativity and the belief in change.

Furthermore, this controversy relates to TOK in the sense that it puts into question the types of qualities a political leader must possess. Also it takes into consideration the extent to which society is faithfully represented by its leaders. Society although welcomes change, depends much on reputation. Because of this, her incoming to the senate might be looked upon with disdain, even if she does an excellent job in her work. Humans do not trust eachother, therefore they depend on the information they already have on them.  In this way, they can have a hint about how the person is. This is human nature. I guess we will just have to see how society continues to react to her presence.

TOK Journal # 2

Against all odds, I somehow found something productive out of the S.A.T exam I took last weekend.  

While I was taking the exam, trying to concentrate and ignore my nerves, I specially noticed the essay question. Of course it was very general and did not require an in depth answer, like most S.A.T questions. However, it was not until a couple of days after that I began to see the T.O.K question in the topic.

It referred to something about whether people were judged by what they do or by who they were.  I supported this statement with 3 examples, one of the which I wish to discuss in this journal

I spoke about how often television stars are judged by what they do.  In fact there whole lifestyle revolves around their area of profession.  They are constantly followed by the camera, whether they are on set or in their everyday lives followed by paparazzi. What they do and who they are have little differentiation. However this is not the specific topic I felt was most interesting. This was only the beginning of the thought.

You( Lissie) recently posted your opinion on the twilight movie. Your dislike for the movie was clearly evident, and understandable. You claimed that the plot was indeed no big deal. So if this is the case, why would the movie draw the attention of so many people around the world?

In my opinion, readers of the book develop unhealthy relationships with the characters. Because of this, readers often fail to see the fictiveness of the situation, and feel the characters are actually real. This obsession allowed the movie to become as popular as it became. Readers all over the world, obsessed with the book and the characters gave little importance to the actual movie and instead were moved by the story they all felt they related to.

Understanding this, I related this topic to that of the S.A.T. Why? The thing is that after the movie came out, a similar obsession to that of the book and movie appeared, but instead between the character and the actual person. Fans obsessed with the thought of falling in love with a vampire, fell in love with the actor. This relates to the fact of judging the actor by what they do instead of by who they really are. In the case of this movie and almost all others, the actors, to the world, become the characters they present in their movies. They are loved or disliked, because of their role, and their identity is often undermined. IN fact, usually actors go by their names on set, instead of their own. I remember when I was younger I loved the Lizzie Mcguire show, and up until about a year ago I still thought of the actress, Hilary Duff, as Lizzie.

Because of this fanatical behavior, the true identities of the actors are rarely known because they are ignored by those fans who wish so strongly that the story be real. Not only does this occur, but the actors themselves tend to be caught in the lifestyle and dismiss their own identity to the spotlight.  

This specific profession is one that clearly represents this question.  Its purpose is to imitate real people, and this creates confusion with what is what and who is who. It is a clear example of a group of people who become what they do, and of a group of people who foment this by forgetting how to distinguish reality from fantasy.

T.O.K Journal # 1

Intertok+Meditation=

I know this combination of Intertok and meditation seems somewhat unlikely, however through personal experience I found somewhat of a connection.

All students who participated in the Intertok conference could agree with me that what we once agreed was true, was rapidly dismantled.  The IB god did not just give us information using things we already know like the theory of Pythagoras, or of gravity, instead he introduced whole new ideas that were foreign to our thoughts and beliefs.        

In what seemed like an extremely long conference, was indeed much too short to fully grasp the information being given to us, and still have time to breathe.  I learned that I was nothing more than particles, and that those particles KNEW we were watching them. Also, if I lived in space for over a year I would be part of a second younger.  This leads to the fact that time is indeed a variable instead of a constant.  The most alarming thing was that of the aspect of the omniscient observer, or as one could consider the God.

            My initial response to this conference was of frustration and denial.  I thought it was interesting yet much too long and not necessarily relevant to T.O.K.  In fact I honestly must say I felt it favored those taking physics and marginalized the biology and chemistry students. For some strange and odd reason, I felt annoyed.  Here is where, meditation kicks in.

            For a little less than a year I joined a meditation youth group, where I would participate every Tuesday.  I felt I learned a lot of different and innovative things, however at one point or another I felt this strange feeling of annoyance as well.  Over time this went away and I was able to open myself up to different ideas. While I was wondering how this had happened, I remembered a valuable lesson I had learned while in those classes.  

The main point of meditation is to eliminate the ego, to fight its thoughts and establishments, and to find the silence. The professor often reminded us that the ego would most likely put up different defense mechanisms in order to avoid its eradication. I feel that my reaction towards the InterTok was one of my ego’s defense mechanisms.  Information never before understood all of a sudden begins to question my mind’s beliefs and thoughts, the same ones that constitute my ego. Immediately the ego counterattacks by creating my reaction, making me feel uncomfortable and angry towards the information, and therefore avoiding and ignoring it.

As the week progressed I was able to surpass the mechanism and begin analyzing and opening myself up to the new information. Only by doing this, was I able to understand the new knowledge acquired.  

I felt that this constant battling with the ego is what makes humans closed minded and set on their own opinions. It is difficult to fight your own ideas, as can be seen daily in our own T.O. K classes.

Ode to a Freckle

Ode to you,

Little mark of sun

Raiding the skin of the beholder.

Say Hello to your creators

Melanin and the fire sphere

Making homo sapiens unique

Creating a map upon their faces

A freckle here, a freckle there

Three freckles here, none over there

You do not distinguish

Amongst the select

You’re intentions are pure

Luminosity plagues the body

You’re continuous

Never abating

Little freckle of the sun

We await your arrival

Under the sky.

Journal Entry # 4

Angel- Sarah McLachlan

 Spend all your time waiting 

For that second chance

For a break that would make it ok

There’s always some reason

To feel not good enough

And it’s hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh beautiful release

Memory seep from my veins

Let me be empty and, oh, weightless

And maybe I’ll find some peace tonight

(Chorus)

In the arms of the angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line

And everywhere you turn

There’s vultures and thieves at your back

And the storm keeps on twisting

You keep on building the lies

That you make up for all that you lack

It don’t make no difference

Escaping one last time

It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness

Oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

(Chorus)

In the arms of the angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

      This song by Sarah McLachlan is one of my all time favorite songs. I feel that everybody can relate to its lyrics, in the sense that it speaks about struggling and failing, and the frustration this brings. I would like to analyze some of the lyrics and show how the singer  expresses the cycle of her inner struggle.  

      The first stanza, or paragraph of this song speaks, using a solemn tone, about how there are many times in one’s life, where one waits and hopes for  “a break that will make it ok”. By this, she means that during hard times, whether it is something that has happened to the person, or something the person has done, a strain of desperation takes over. During this period, one seeks a way out, a way to reach stability once again. She sings about this process and how when one feels pain and frustration, the way to escape is to feel numb and to let go of everything. Throughout the song, she refers to a “you” and an “I”. This leaves in doubt whether she speaks about another person, herself, or whether she uses it to relate to  herself and at the same time the listener.  She uses a metaphor to express how “memories seep from [her’] veins.” This reference at first gives a gentle yet crude impression, as the memories seem to be alike blood flowing in and out of her body. This comparison between blood and memories shows how the memories are a part of  her and how they do not leave her alone. In this case memories serve to reinforce the frustration, to rebuild the picture in the mind that may be bringing pain.   She expresses how the she wishes to escape and to be unfeeling.

      Following the first part, begins the chorus.  She sings it in a very fragile and flowing manner, and in a voice that portrays little strength.   This effect allows the listener to understand how   she is no longer giving effort, instead   she is   giving up, and is being taken away.  She states that she wishes to escape “the dark cold hotel room”, this can serve as a metaphor to the uncomfortable and unknown, to her current situation. A hotel room is foreign to a person and serves only as a temporal home. In addition it is described as “cold” and “dark”, the characteristics add a gloomy feeling, one which does not seem to have a light, or a way out. Her attitude seems to be depressive and   miserable.  In addition she claims she fears “the endlessness”.  One usually fears the end, or death. Instead she fears not dying, or living in her misery forever. This once again reaffirms how she is giving up, as if she seeks death or an end.  She speaks about how she is taken from her “reverie” which means daydream. This shows how she is distant and shows little interest in her life. Furthermore, her desire for death is supported by the fact that she wished to be in “the arms of an angel”. She seeks death, numbness; she wishes to be taken away, even if that means death.  Finally, at the end of the chorus, she explains how she hopes to find comfort, in the arms of the angel. This comfort contrasts that of the hotel room. She wants to escape her life and find comfort through death

      The last stanza, before the second chorus, is the climax of her desperation. She sings rapidly and stronger, in a tone that reveals her sentiments.  She refers to a “storm” that “keeps on twisting”. This can serve as a metaphor to her life, and how it keeps getting complicated and worse. It can also refer to her inner struggle with herself. In this last stanza, she refers once again to her personal failure, to her lack of ability. She mentions how “you keep on building lies that you make up for all that you lack.” These lines portray how she feels that her life gets worse, as she begins to cover her failures, or what she sees in herself as a failure.  It is as if she cannot stand herself, as if she is bringing herself down.  This part ends by her claiming she is on her knees, on the verge of  giving up. The “glorious sadness” has left her to her end.

      The singer, besides her lyrics, uses different singing techniques to portray her sentiments. She changes the tone of her voice, and at times releases the note, adding a soft and feeble touch to what she is saying.  The whole song seems to flow lightly, but at the same time incredibly deeply.  It is as if through the lightness and gentleness of the song, her true sorrow and surrender is expressed.

** I  can sing  it sometime!